I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your penis caused this!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
