:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
