You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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