She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
