He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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