You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
