she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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