So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
