I'm lost and stupid without you.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
