hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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