Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
