At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Alive.
So much puke
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
