he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
