I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
