At least make sure they are 18
Why
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
