He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
