it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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