I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
