i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
