I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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