Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
