WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
