summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
