"it" just moved
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
