and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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