WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
