fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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