I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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