hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i barfeds in our rink
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
