Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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