There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
