I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
