last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
