I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
