gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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