i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
