he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
