I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
