so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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