Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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