you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
