you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
