we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
