The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think my moral compass just broke
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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