I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
