dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
