That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
