half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
