Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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