"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
